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I've been taught that I should bottle up my emotions and 'be a man', but I've also been taught that I shouldn't be uncaring, insensitive, or afraid to show my emotions. I'm somehow supposed to magically resolve the conflict in that." I became aware that I had somehow opened a floodgate of gripes that Dan had nursed for a long time. I was glad that they weren't all directed at me. In the more than two decades that I've been with him, Dan had never shared thoughts like these with me. As a man and a woman raised in the Catholic culture, we were exposed to attitudes and conventions that conflict with modern egalitarian culture. I've thought much about the impact that has on me, but very little about the impact that it has on him. So hearing these thoughts was like discovering a scene in a favorite old move that simply wasn't there before. This is Dan, the director's cut. "So, on behalf of me and my gender, you are going to spend the next three hours. or until I decide you've had enough,. I passed her a glass, with my fingers round the stem. Her little fingertip lingered on mine for a fraction of a second.We stood there, while the tension crept up towards some impending breaking point. I’d let her decide whether to talk business before, or after. It wasn’t urgent, evidently. The business, I mean. Or was she seeing if I’d ask why she was here? I felt an impulse to out-wait her. In the meantime it was pleasant to just look at her, while her presence filled the room as she sauntered round inspecting it.“Seems a long time since I was on the beach,” she smiled at me after a full minute.“Yes, I know what you mean. The sun on your skin, all salty, warm breeze, a swim...”“Feels great doesn’t it?” She gave a little shimmer up her body.“Oh sorry, can I take your jacket?”“Thanks,” she slipped it off, swapping her glass from one hand to the other. I draped the jacket over a chair. Underneath, disappointingly, she was wearing a pullover. Well it was cold outside. The material was.
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