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Went into hospital to preventmyself from ever having to go into hospital for the reason Emma's inthere now, ironically enough..."In the summer of 2009, most of my friends made plans to go on holidayswith their families or their girlfriends, or get summer jobs, or playgigs with various bands. I, on the other hand, made plans to go intohospital, and for want of a better way of putting it, get most of myreproductive organs scooped out.The procedure my surgeon had recommended to me was called a 'TotalLaparoscopic Hysterectomy'. I'd be put under a general anaesthetic andwould have several small incisions made into my abdominal wall, throughwhich my ovaries and uterus would be removed. I went under theanaesthetic in the mid-morning, and woke up in the early evening toabdominal pain like I'd never experienced before- and, more reassuringly,mum and dad smiling down on me."Welcome back to the land of the living, son," dad said, stressing theword 'son' as he'd done ever since my coming out. In some way I had just had phone sex with a student, at least some one could say that. For a while I worried about getting in trouble with the college, but what did I do? All I had done was answer the phone. I hadn't even known it was a student until the very end. As for my wife, well, that was another matter. Playing along with an obscene phone call she'd understand as a good bit of harmless fun. The prospect of a student aggressively seeking me out and getting herself off? That would likely be a bit more threatening. Needless to say, the weekend dragged a bit as I replayed the conversation in my head and pondered over and over again who it might be. I had hoped that Saturday night might bring a second call, but there was nothing. Again Sunday dragged and as night fell my anticipation grew, but nothing.As I readied to leave for class on Monday morning, I'm embarrassed to admit that I might have spent a little longer in the mirror than usual. At 38, I was still in good shape with a.
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