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Full blown screwing is for later, and only if you want to. Don’t go dropping your panties on the first date unless you want the entire school to know you’re a slut.”“But what if he tells people or lies?” asked Lizzie. She and Megan both had worried looks on their faces.Jessica nodded. “It happens.” she said with a shrug. “Some guys are just assholes. Anyway, what you do is not put up with their shit. Call them on it, in public, in front of their friends. Tell them straight out that the two of you are over, that he’s a jerk, and that you are telling all your friends about him. Slap him on the face, too, hard! Make him look bad in front of other people.”The twins looked at each other in disbelief, first at their aunt’s language and at her suggestions. They looked back at her. Jessica smiled. “Have you ever had a dog that peed on the carpet? Remember what to do? You rub his face in it, yell at him, and wallop him with a rolled-up newspaper. Men are just dogs on two feet.”The girls. If I succeeded, he promised me the Crown of the Holy Roman Empire. With everyone else in the room laughing hysterically, I refused. “I have never attacked anyone who did not first attack either me or an ally and have no intention of starting now. Besides, I have no desire to ever wear a crown and pray every night that my King lives a long and healthy life so that I don’t have to wear his crown for even a day,” I explained angrily.“Then the Pope will have no choice but to issue a decree that you are to be brought to Rome by whatever means necessary to be tried as a heretic,” he threatened sternly.“Then you may consider us at war. My troops will invade and level Rome, killing the Pope and every priest, bishop, and cardinal we can find before laying waste to what remains of the Empire until nothing is left but smoldering ruins and dead bodies,” I countered furiously.“Call every man in Lancaster, York, and Normandy to arms immediately. I want an army of 250,000 men ready to march on Rome.
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