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This is one instance that I let myfears get the better of me. I tried do hard to just fit in but it was to no avail. It was as if I wasin the middle of a step and just past the point of no return I found outthat I had ran out road falling flat on my face. I tried to just forgetabout it and was successful from my freshman year till age 24. It was amistake that nearly cost me my life on more that a few occaissions. Durringall that time I put up a wall and for those years I felt that the wall wasweakening. When the wall finnally broke I tried to go to my parents forhelp. Now the result of that meeting was in no way thear fault. I was for allintents and purposes thinking "girl" and was allways quite a bit dramaticand they thought that I was "acting" just to get attention. I feltheartbroken that they didn't see that I was actually telling them, ortrying to tell them my plight of being transgender. I blame myself now as Ididn't tell them that up front.The only thing that I told them was. Now taking the regular partner from a married woman during that period makes her sexually frustrated, not all women I grant you, one or two are monogamous, but my friend Wendy I must say isn’t one of them. Her job before she took early retirement was a councillor for students, ensuring they were getting funding and a roof overhead, the right course and so on, it was a job she enjoyed. She spent each working day in the company of young students which made her feel useful and younger than in reality especially as most that she dealt with were virile young men who appreciated a good-looking woman. At the beginning it was just fun, teasing them with short skirts, low tops and that sort of thing, Inevitably, one or two hopefuls chatted to her, and not about courses or student loans but to Wendy at that time it was just a game But like all things the stakes slowly raised, it was somewhat of a done deal really, one energetic young student flirting led to another, slowly she became fixated.
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