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"That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out. She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her downstairs and threw her out into the backyard! She'd better not shit in the vegetable garden again!"The silence in the Taxi was deafening.YES MARTHA, THERE ARE BLOND MEN TOOA friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do ... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish."I think it's got epilepsy," he. ”“Yes, ma'am.”She laughed. “You don't have to call me ma'am, silly. We're almost the same age.”“Well I just felt like I was being lectured, that's all. I'm sorry.”“I didn't mean it that way, sorry. I'm sure you know your mother wants the best for you. I've heard it quite a lot. I can see the dynamic between you two now. It's understandable why you'd shy away from her 'gifts'.”"I think you nailed it, Tam. I will do this. Not for mom, but for me. I want to run a marathon. I need a change in my life, and I think this will help long term. Thanks for understanding. To be honest, I wasn't sure I trusted you with mom. I'm slowly losing that feeling."She smiled. "I'm glad. I like your mother and I'd like us to be friends. I think we're on that path now."She stood, walking to me as I held my gym bag ready to leave. Opening her arms, she gave me a big hug. I dropped my bag, hugging her back. It felt good to be wrapped up in those strong arms. My nipples had shrunk, but now I could feel them.
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