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Each and every thing has a place including me. Have you ever had a cascade of thoughts just fall through your mind? Thought after thought, implication after implication like a waterfall suffused me. I accepted that when It comes right down to it I am not an isolated little human in a ginormous universe that is alien to me. I am a part of that universe. Specifically, I am part of the Earth. It’s hard to explain much clearer but basically I have a place too and whoever don’t like it, well Up yours, buddy.So where was all that when you were in straight up crisis mode with your illness Darian? That’s a fair question and here’s my answer: If you recall I still don’t sweat so any version of living off the land scenario in warm weather is a no go. I’m also on medications which I have to have which to my knowledge there is no plant substitute. So I’m stuck being close to people whether I wish to be or not. Also, when I shared my plan for if / when I suicide what location did I choose? The. Six months ago, 'Michael' hadbeen a big strapping lad and a hot combat aviator of whom the NorthVietnamese had been terrified. Michelle looked around at some of themothers and decided that she was going to need maternity clothes and noone ever failed by planning ahead.Michelle wandered among the selections in Sears and realized that theylooked terrible. She HATED the massive bell shaped dresses and almostcircus tent-like blouses. The pants were even worse. Michelle walked outof the store even more depressed than she was after speaking to theGeneral. Looking at the available maternity clothes made Michelle feeleven more distanced and divorced from her military vocation.Michelle left the store and went to the Farrell's Ice cream parlor. Sheordered a three-scoop banana spit and sat down to eat it, determined toconsole herself in the sweet sugary goodness. She knew that this was notexactly healthy either, but it was better, than drinking and poisoningher child with alcohol.The sugary.
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