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He doesn’t understand why momma isn’t spending any time with him anymore.’ I closed my eyes. Closed my eyes against the pain that those words sent through me. I wanted to get up. To go open the door and go to John. Tell him I loved him. Instead I just turned towards the wall ignoring the pounding on the door until Hawk finally gave up and I heard him go back downstairs. The third day I was so depressed I couldn’t even bring myself to get out of bed. I knew there would be tray of food waiting for me just outside the door and my stomach reminded me that I hadn’t eaten yesterday. But I just couldn’t bring myself to move. Instead I drifted off to sleep, troubled by dreams of Hawk and Danny and John all begging me to love them. I opened my eyes later to a key turning in the lock. I knew mom had lost the key to my room years ago, apparently she had found it. I watched the door open and looked up to see her standing there carrying a tray in her hands. She walked into the room, closing the. Her hands pressed with her palms sweaty against the cool wall, seeking some reassurance, some purchase from which to spring a counter-attack. Yet she struggled to find words to fend off her attacker, failed to find any words that would deflect the maid from the inevitable conclusion she was mercilessly driving towards. How could she make this evidence seem innocent when she knew her own guilt? Her throat was constricting from fear and a feeling of entrapment, both physically against the wall and by the words Marie fired at her. ‘You see she must have been desperate. Don’t you think? She must have felt such a sexual tension, a need burning inside her, a lust that could not be quenched in any other way. She must have been driven like some mad thing to find someone, anyone to satiate her passion. What else could drive her to stand on a street corner like that?’ Marie paused to look at her prey, an expression lined with understanding and complicit confidentiality drawn across her face..
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