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What would another five years bring? Or ten? Or twenty? Would she still be the same woman who once believed that she could do anything? What was that old saying? ‘What you can believe, you can achieve’ Maybe so, but first you have to be able to believe it, and sometimes it was hard to even remember what that sort of ‘belief’ felt like. The exhilarating sense of freedom and power that came with the feeling that the future was wide open, that the past and present were just steps leading towards an open door and not, as she had begun to feel lately in some of her darker moments, the all too solid walls that comprised the totality of her existence. – All that has been is all that will ever be. – No! No! That couldn’t be true. There must be something more than this. More than Katie the farmers wife who cooked and cleaned and ‘stood by her man’ whatever that was supposed to mean. More certainly than the hurried, wordless wrestling matches that passed for sex these days. Katie had gotten. That was not a lie. I explained that Eleanor was special to me and the time we spent apart just made our love stronger. I just wished that it were not so secret.Eleanor and I were as different as chalk and cheese. That first day we met at High School, we were both still innocent c***dren. Innocent to all things sexually physical as two eleven year olds could be. She was the tallest in the class of twenty-five k**s and I was the shortest. Both of us total strangers and from different backgrounds. She was from the city and I from a small town close to the open moorlands. But there was one thing we had in common from the start; both of us shared a common love of nature’s simplicities.The bond grew closer as we developed our friendship over the years that followed. I not only admired her, but without realising it, I grew to love her and I began to notice the way we were growing up into adolescents. Infact we learned about each other’s minds and bodies as part of that bonding.I began to.
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