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" I explain to her. She is pleasant and says "It is okay." The waiter quickly returns and asks if we are ready to order. I still have not looked at the menu yet so I ask for a few more minutes. He smiles and walks away.The music playing a little too loudly, is classic 70's rock. Elton John is belting out "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting" so loudly I can't here what she is saying from across the table. I look around and see the problem. We are seated under a large speaker that is cranked up to max volume. I tell her I can't hear her for the loud music. She is a little agitated by my lack of conversation. The waiter returns and I ask him if they can turn the volume down a little. He comes back with a remote and the volume is lowered. Our date is saved.I notice she has a strange look on her face and she is not eating, just picking at her food. I ask her if everything is okay and she replies "I am fine." Then I break the cardinal rule of first dates. I ask her if she is sure she is. I wasn't sure what role Satyr hadplayed in that, or whether it had just been another twist of fate, asSatyr had assured me. But it didn't really matter now.I didn't attend the service but stood outside, wearing a black dress andheels. I felt no remorse or sadness, but was touched by the emotion Isaw from those as they came out of the church. This wasn't an end. Iwas not dead. I wanted to assure them. I was here, alive. Vibrantlyalive. This was only a new beginning. There, outside the church, I saw my girlfriend. My former girlfriend.The woman I'd loved, made love to. I walked up to her and now stoodeye-to-eye with her. I looked emphatically into her tear-stained face. For a long moment we just stood there."Please don't be sad," I said. I put my arms around her and pulled herclose. My cheek against hers, I breathed in her familiar scent. Mymind flashed to a time when my arms enveloped her. A time once whenwe'd made passionate love and I'd held her up by her ass, my.
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