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Oneday when I reached her house, i acnt find her at the kitchen. I searched everywhere.I find her at the balcony. She didnt notice my presence until I called her, she was crying. Her cheaks are pink and eyes are blowing. She can’t control her, she blast into tears. I tried my best to console her, but I can’t. So I think it is better to give her some privacy, so I leave. Two days later I met her again. I dont like to hurt her by asking about the incident, so I kept silent about it. But she say sorry to me and told me that she can’t get a boy,I asked her why, she said: you dont know anything about reproduction, I said to her that I am grown up boy and also am a science student, I know it. So she said her husband did vas ectomy, so that he cant be a father anymore, I am shocked bcoz why did he do this, she said I dont know, I feel my life is empty now and started crying. I take her hand in my hand and consoled her. Then I try to ignore her bcoz her sad face hurt my mind very much.After. We were committed, well that or lose our booking fee. Actually, we were lucky on St Valentine’s Day Vegas is usually full. We had booked January 2nd. All January I was in what can only be described as frisson of fear. Plain unadulterated fear. Just what had I gotten in to? Why in Gods name after four years of cyber friendship risk everything on a real life meet. I was surely mad! As February marched forwards my fear was palpable I phoned to cancel the booking several times I never let it actually ring. I stood before the mirror it was just hours before I flew out west. ‘You are fat you are no oil painting. You are a geek and odd-looking one at that. What the fuck are you doing?’ I threw a few rags into a suitcase. Old clothes, I made no attempt to disguise myself in good duds. I had a few smart casual clothes, but I always looked like a looser posing as a predator in them. I snapped the bag shut. ‘What the fuck she either likes me or not.’ Why had I not posted at least one picture?.
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