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Hurt. Angry. Never again, they said. It’s over, James told himself through clenched teeth. I’m finished playing the ‘good guy.’ I don’t want another man’s sloppy seconds. I don’t want the sad, empty, hollow woman who gave her very best to a man who never deserved it. If this is how the game is played, then let’s begin. Blow the whistle. I’m ready. James was a cauldron of fury, determined to get a piece of the sexually adventurous pie. Determined not to finish in second place. He dances in his basement, adorned with black trunks and bright red boxing gloves, abusing a punching bag as both physical exercise and mental determination. ‘Women, you give away the best you have to offer to assholes,’ James growls to an empty room as he continues to take out his frustrations on the bag. ‘When you are at your most energetic, most passionate, most trusting, most willing to open up and take risks – it is with men who use your innocence and spit you out as if you didn’t matter. You then close. ” And sure I loved the taste of a cunt and to a lesser extent the feeling of fucking one, but it’s never felt right before. My entire sex life has been like going to eat Chinese food when your desperately craving Italian; sure it’ll fill you up but your never going to be truly satisfied.At 26, when my father passed, I started to finally accept some hard truths about myself, and after three years of self exploration and lots of money spent on therapy, I could finally say it, “I’m attracted to men.” It took a lot of courage to get those words out of my mouth, and it took even more to download the gay apps and start trying to put myself out there.I made sure I didn’t lie on my profiles, despite the fact that I think everyone else may have been: 29 years old, 6’3” tall, muscular frame(thanks to all the repressed sexual urges fueling my workouts), but the other categories I didn’t quite know how to fill out. What’s a tribe? Was I a bear, an otter? Sure I had hair, the same sandy blonde.
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