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"Hello? My name is Margaret McIlvaine speaking on behalf of the Law Firm of O'Sullivan, Kelly, Walsh, Flanagan and Mullan of Wexford County, Ireland? I'm here to talk to you about the death of your Great-Granduncle Twice Removed?" A woman's voice with a Wexford accent so thick you could cut it with a knife says. "..." I go over to the door but don't open it."What kind of scam is this?" I ask, wishing like hell the peephole in my door hadn't been painted over years ago."Oh, it's no scam Mr. O'Malley! I know its a strange request but your Great-Granduncle twice removed lived to the astounding age of one-hundred-and-four, and all of his sons died in world war two while his daughters and granddaughters had no sons of their own! You're the only person who's actually responded, and if that stays the case you will inherit everything!" I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything. "Hello?! Mr. O'Mally, PLEASE DONT CALL THE GARDA: THIS IS SERIOUS!!!" The attorney's voice cries. ”I stared down at the photographs. I had no doubts she would use these if I tried to refuse to do what she asked. Once more I felt I would be sick. “String him along, do whatever you need to, I want to know whatever he tells you. Pillow talk is always useful. I mean, you don’t have to have sex with him if you don’t want. Although, even I have to say he does look very attractive as a woman.”She stopped talking and let the silence and her threat bear down on me.“The skipper told me not to trust you.”“Did he? Good advice. Well, what’s your decision?”I was in a corner and she knew it. I swallowed, “I will do it, but as soon as I get him to talk, I’m out.”“Of course. Whatever you want. Good, now I have to be on my way. Enjoy your breakfast and I’ll be in touch.” She swept the envelope and the photographs into her briefcase and walked away. I sat there for a while contemplating the hole I had dug for myself. What the hell was I going to do? My coffee was left undrunk, I don’t think I could.
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