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. I’d like to do it one last time. I mean, who knows, we might be weak and go back to this again, but it would be nice to try again.”Part of me wondered if Molly was just accepting we would keep having sex like this over and over. I knew I was making a genuine effort this time, so it seemed only appropriate to offer, as I put it, a last hurrah. Still, with smiles and a little bit of awkwardness, we approached each other and just embraced, looking at each other as we held one another.I smiled and sighed, half in bliss and half in sadness. “What if this turns out to genuinely be the last time?”Molly’s smile faded. “It wouldn’t undo what we are.”“Then what are we, Molly?”Molly’s look became frustrated. “Touché.” she spat bitterly. “Are you worried that without sex we’re nothing?”“I’m worried about what we’re making each other.” I told her, giving her a light kiss on the forehead after. “Especially since I have genuine romantic feelings towards you, and this will be the second time we had. ”“What?” His voice was almost offensive to me as if I was a bad person for wanting it.“Please. For punishment. I want you to use my body nonstop. I swear I won’t like it but I know I deserve it. That’s all I’m good for now. Just use me. It will at least kill some time.” My voice droned further and further down into depression.“No,” he said softly as if he understood my pain.“Ean,” my voice shook almost crying, “do it. Over and over a hundred times until finally everything in my head just stops. I can’t stand doing nothing anymore. If your body still can get happy, then please, use mine to make it. I’m only going to ever get better if I feel that I’m making some progress and right now I feel absolutely nothing.”I rolled away from him onto my back and pulled apart the towel covering me. Spreading my legs a little, I laid there unable to move anymore muscles. All I could do anymore was stare at the ceiling as tears trickled one at a time down the sides of my face.“Please Ean. I need.
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