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I bought a dog the other day ... I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him...”Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.-- Steven WrightWhen will all the rhetorical questions end?We have mileage, yardage and footage. Why don’t we have inchage?Bumper Sticker:If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.The other day, I was walking my dog around my building ... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.-- Steven WrightStudies show that 100% of those who advocate abortion are people who already have been born.What’s dumb? Directions on toilet paper.What’s dumber than that? Reading them.Even dumber? Reading them and learning something.Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you’ve been doing wrong.Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months. I stood up and grabbing your hair I pulled you towards me and kissed you hard letting you taste all your juices from my mouth as my tongue slid in to your warm mouth. I stood back and for the first time spoke ‘’ you are going to be used like a slut and you will not be able to resist by who you will not know or see’’ I then turned and walked out of the room and down the stairs and went to the front door and slammed it shut as if I had left.I stood in the kitchen drinking some more wine for 10-15 mins silent as I prepared the cucumber by peeling it, You had called out several times and swore at me calling me all sorts as you thought I had left you alone tied up, then when I felt it time I walked quietly to the door Slammed it and stomped up the stairs. Again without a word I walked up and grabbed your breasts hard this made you jump and as I pulled your nipples I felt them jump and harden under my fingers.I fed one then the other in to my mouth and sucked them hard as I did so. You had.
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