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That’s why I’d listened to Jason talking about our future together and allowed him to remove my wedding band. But all of the things I’d been thinking last night were thrown up in the air by what the girls had just told me.It didn’t change anything about how I felt about Jason. I still loved him.But it changed the other part of the decision. The Neil part of the decision. Last night I’d thought that Neil had chosen Hannah over me, and I was still angry at him for how he’d treated me at the weekend. Now I knew that Hannah was no longer on the scene, and I knew that Neil loved me enough that he was about to fly down here to try and rescue our love and marriage.All these thoughts were whirling around in my confused mind as I looked up at Jason. I couldn’t fathom the look on his face, and the question that kept coming back to me was Caitlyn’s question about whether I loved their father more than Jason. And as I looked at Jason, it slowly dawned on me that however much I did love Jason, I. "I can't believe how you're shaking." I'm nervous," I said in this chirpy little voice that sort of roamed upand down the music staff. "God, I can't even talk right."I felt Emily's hands working, pulling little clumps of my hair andworking them into short braids. I could see both of us in her vanitymirror. For a few minutes it looked like I had devil's horns and Ialmost asked Emily to leave me like that, perfect for Halloween. Iwatched us, just two sisters. Jumpy and alert, but also kind of sad in away. Not for things I had lost. For things I might lose one day, littlemoments like this that meant more to me than anything. I felt part ofEmily. It made me want to open up and tell her my last little secrets,at least the ones I'd developed this year."I have something to tell you," I said, my voice distant and soft. Heregoes."What?" I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian." No shit. You listen to Indigo Girls nonstop."Which wasn't true at all. Folk gave me hives. "I'm serious." Well,.
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