The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.5. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’sunderwear when he’s on the toilet.6. Sticking my nose into someone’scrotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.7. I don’t need to suddenly standstraight up when I’m under the coffee table.8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur beforeentering the house - not after.9. I will not come in from outside,and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.P.S. Dear God:When I get to Heaven,may I have my testicles back?Some Random Thoughts... Someone Just Honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.So I was at the bar last night and the Waitress Screamed... “Anyone know CPR?”I said, “Hell I know the entire alphabet.”Everyone. She mumbled something about the bathroom being free and slipped into bed. He lay there silently in the dark, staring at the invisible ceiling as her breathing slowed and soon soft snores began to fill the room. Shaking his head he stood up and reached for his robe. Suddenly he heard a noise, a shuffling sound just outside the window. "What the hell?" he thought as he grabbed his robe and pulled it over his shoulders.He made himself walk casually out of the room as if going to the bathroom. But instead he moved quickly toward the back door and was outside in the cool night air in a heartbeat. He heard more noises coming from the privacy fence and in the dim light he could see a slight figure trying to climb the walls. "Easier to get in than out asshole," he thought to himself as he strode over to the character his fists curling up ready to crush this trespasser.Just as he got to the figure in the dark it turned around. He braced himself to jump into a fight but instead the boy, as he.
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