. suck in the waist to 27&1/2... arch it all for dramatic effect...) as well, i lost 2.5 lbs to weigh my 5'11" in @ 147.5.i knew there was no fukin' way i was going to see you but why not try to look good anyways in case of a damn miracle?but i really knew there was no such miracle coming my way so i'd put off the body shave till Sun PM when, with the night cleaners toiling away w/the EasyOff, i locked myself in the bar lady's room w/my "7 Step of Feminization Hypnosis" tracks & my shaving supplies for two and a half hours of meticulous hair removal. come Mon morn, i was really fukin' smooth.i went to work early, hoping to get all my sht done so that i could fukin' go out & spend some gyrl time. it had been a grueling week & i'd skipped gyrl time to get my boi work load done and get myself as hott as i could be....but Mon was hell.though i had done payroll for my company the night before, it was only a safety. i'd have to redo it for the new payroll service we were switching to. much. Let me out, let me out, let meout.I finger the handle of my knife as I slice the crusts off her littlesandwich (PB&J, her favorite!) before I bring it down. She hates crusts. Ithink about just getting it over with and slitting my jugular, right now.I could do it. She would die, of course, without me to feed her - thenourishment of food, yes, but also hope. Every time I descend the steps,she thinks, maybe I will let her go now. Maybe this is the time I fumblemy key, or she can pickpocket my phone. It's not, though. I'm too carefulfor that. I will put the plate inside the arc of her chain where she canreach it, and leave, the light from the top of the stairs narrowing untilit disappears.I hope, really, more than anything, I can let her out someday. That I canfind a soft, kind place where I can let her be and she can finally growup. She's been down there, a little girl, for years and years and years,missing so many milestones. It's too late for so many things, and if Iever do let her.
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