Something had changed since I fed him. “Dean, I owe you an explanation, I saw the look on your face when... When I said I’d been kicked out for fighting” “You don’t have to!” I interjected.“ You let me in your home, you need to know what you have let yourself into. Ya see I’m Gay, in fact that’s why I’m homeless in the first place my step dad didn’t want a queer in his house so kicked me out. Anyway I got close with another man in the hostel. Unfortunately a newer guy in the hostel found out and beat the shit out of me. I can’t go back he said he’d kill me” he explained I just listened.“Anyway, thank you for helping me out tonight, don’t feel like you have any obligation if you want me to leave I will” he looked genuine. “No it’s ok, you stay.” I demanded.“Don’t want you feeling uncomfortable, your a nice young lad.” He smiled for the first time. “No, no not uncomfortable, urm” I hesitated but then blurted out “I’m gay too” I felt like it would put his mind at ease. I think it. “Not all the time ... But sometimes, aye...” Another quick drag. “Sometimes the idea just came out of nowhere ... It made me feel dirty ... Just thinking about thinking about it – made me feel like I was a really bad lassie ... My dark, dirty secret...”“Does Davie know about it?”“Yeah ... When your show started, I told him about ma close encounters ... But I didn’t tell him how much I wished I had taken them further...”“How did he feel about that?”She takes another long, slow, draw on the cigarette – it’s something between erotic and cough-inducing for the viewers ... Then answers, “The whole doggy thing doesn’t turn him on ... Not on your show, and not about when I was younger ... He wasn’t that interested when I told him ... I mean, he listened, and we shagged afterwards, but I don’t think it turned him on or off ... It’s like he doesn’t associate it wi’ sex...”“What does he think is happening today?”“He thinks I’m on one of they re-styling shows ... Getting’ my hair and make-up.
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